To start, I must lay a foundation. Otherwise, nothing else makes sense. Everything I want my children to know hinges upon how I view the world. And everything I think and believe comes from my faith. I want my children to know that Jesus is the author of my life. He is the foundation of my life and the lens through which I view the world.
Being raised in a Christian home by a father who was a pastor and a mother who was the church music director, we were in church every Sunday morning, Sunday evening, and Wednesday evening. Let’s not forget all the days in between whenever the doors were open. So, I always knew that following Jesus was important, but, I also, knew that I had never chosen to follow Him. I knew that God was real. I knew that Jesus did on the cross to forgive my sins. However I never consciously decided to stake my life in Him. When I was young, it was church tradition to have altar calls. The pastor was down in front and, the congregation sang a sad, slow song, and sinners walked down to be saved.
Starting around nine years old, I began to realize I was going to have to make that walk and get saved. I knew my parents wanted me to, but I have an automatic aversion to doing things expected of me.
I didn’t know what was wrong with me. I felt like the worst person in the world and a terrible sinner, which of course I was. We are all sinners and simply depraved souls. I used to pray that God would make my feet move during the altar calls. I used to pray that I would feel God speaking to me.
But every Sunday, when my dad stood for the altar call and my mom led the congregation in another stanza of “Just as I am,” I stood at my pew, not moving. My feet didn’t magically transport me to the altar into my daddy’s waiting arms. This went on for months. Clearly, I believed in Jesus. Clearly, I recognized my need for Him.
When I was ten years old, our church had a revival. If you don’t know, that’s when a guest pastor comes and preaches every night of the week. Every night. It was hard to muster excitement going to church to hear preaching when you were just a kid who would rather be watching TV. But, that Tuesday night, I don’t know what was different, I don’t know what was said, or why things hit differently. But, that night, I finally knew I had to say yes to following Jesus.
Knowing Jesus is real and saying yes to allowing Him to lead my life are very different. James 2:19 tells us, “You say you have faith, for you believe that there is one God. Good for you! Even the demons believe this, and they tremble in terror.” It was time to do more than simply believe that He was real but, time to put my life in His hands.
I wish I could say I submitted to Christ and never looked back. But, my life didn’t flow that way. I failed a lot. I messed up a lot. But, kids, it’s not about living a perfect life or a life that never doubts. It’s about following in faith, even when you don’t understand everything.